How to Use Sex Toys for Women: Beginner’s Guide to Vibrators

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How to Use Sex Toys for Women: A No-Shame, No-Boundaries Guide

Pleasure is healthy and normal, and there is nothing to be embarrassed about. If you have searched for how to use sex toys for women and closed the window out of embarrassment without reading it, you are not the only one. This guide is designed to help you break that habit and feel no shame about exploring pleasure. Whether you identify as a woman, are a women’s partner, or just enjoy pleasure, you are welcome here.

The Vibrator is Becoming a Wellness Essential

The vibrator is quickly becoming a wellness must-have, as people begin to talk about self-pleasuring as a regular mental health and stress-relief routine. Self-pleasuring will help you sleep, and more importantly, teach you how to communicate to your partner what you like, and what you don’t. The best women’s vibrators make pleasure control easy by supplying stimulating vibrations at your preferred strength, unlike the human hand.

First Toy Decisions

When choosing your first vibrator, simplicity always trumps complexity. Beginner toys can include:

toys made of safe body materials such as glass, steel, or silicone. Avoid jelly and heavily scented toys because they can easily irritate your sensitive areas.
toys that allow control of varying intensities. These are great for beginners because you are able to control the intensity of the toy and experience pleasure without pain.
wand shaped toys for deeper stimulation, or bullet toys for targeted stimulation.
water resistant toys. These toys can be cleaned with great ease and used in the shower!
A first vibrator doesn’t have to be technologically advanced. The best beginner toy is the one that feels least intimidating to you.

Vibrator Sex: What To Know the First Time

When bringing a toy into partnered play that is also referred to as ‘vibrator sex’ or ‘toy sex’, individuals should know this experience is not the same as play with a toy solo. A few things that help it go smoothly include:

Prior communication. Simply saying, “I’d love to try this with you,” alleviates any performance anxiety.
Starting on the lowest intensity. Vibration intensity is much higher than people anticipate, and can result in pain with direct contact.
The use of lubricant. Friction is reduced and ledge can be used on almost all toys.
The use of the toy to enhance other sexual play. The toy is meant to be an add on to oral sex, manual sex, or penetrative sex.

None of this needs to be “perfect” the first time. Toy sex is a conversation, not a performance.

It’s for Every Body

The information presented herein relates to sex toys for women, but the conversation should include trans women, non-binary people, and partners of all genders. All the safety, communication and going slowly tips presented are equally applicable to all. If a toy helps you if not your partner, feel closer to your body it cannot be a bad addition to your life.

Hygiene and Safety Basics

This is the part people skip.

Clean before and after use with warm water and a mild, unscented soap, or a toy cleaner
Ensure compatibility and check the type of lube before use. water based lubes are safer for use as silicone based lubes can deteriorate a silicone toy
Store toys in a breathable pouch separately from other materials
Never use a toy without a condom between partners
Charge or store batteries away from other toys.

These will prevent toys from detracting from the pleasure of sex. Think of this list as an integral part of the overall experience.

Busting the Shame Myths

Some things I have to say…

Using a vibrator doesn’t make you “less sensitive” in the long run — you’ll still get there in the end.
Wanting toys in a relationship doesn’t mean something’s missing — many couples use them because the relationship is going well.
Sex toys for women aren’t last resorts — they’re used by singles and not so singles.
Curiosity doesn’t call for an apology.